Growing Kids and Tomatoes – a similar recipe for success?

One of the things we did this year to keep ourselves busy during COVID was to plant tomatoes in our back yard. Well, (full disclosure) my husband and daughter planted tomatoes. I sat back and journaled their steps, it occurred to me that planting tomatoes is a lot like raising kids.

Consider this:

Use healthy soil – Get yourself right physically, mentally and emotionally before having kids. For example, clean up your diet, add exercise, invest in hobbies, check in with a therapist, take a course, forgive and be forgiven for past transgressions…you get the idea? And if you already have kids, it’s never too late to do these things and lead by example. There is no substitute for a healthy parent when it comes to the health and wellness of a child.

Plant with care – If you are gentle, attentive, caring and supportive then your plants and children will thrive. Be present and intentional about what you are doing along the way. Focus on the big goals of happiness and health. You are planting the seeds of a relationship that will last a lifetime.

Nourish the roots - Stay connected with family, build traditions, continue traditions as the kids grow, tell family stories and share old pictures. Build a community of friends, neighbours, professionals to support your family. Keep your roots healthy by nourishing these important relationships. All families need healthy roots to thrive.

Bring the sunshine - This is about self-regulation. Decide to be the sunshine when you interact with your children. Take a few minutes to be mindful and calm throughout the day. Light up with a warm smile and soft eyes when you see your children. Every time. Sunshine is so powerful for tomatoes and children. Especially on gloomy days, be the sunshine.

Water regularly (but not too much). Tomatoes need some water to grow, but too much water can ruin them. Shower children with praise for the good stuff…hard work, kindness, honesty, integrity, fairness, empathy, and courage. These are positive character traits that they can develop. Praise can be detrimental when we only focus on outcome or performance as these things are often out of a child’s control. Children, like the rest of us, want to be loved for who they are, not for what they did.

Provide support. Every tomato plant and every child need a strong support system that they can lean on when the wind blows. Ensure that your children have you and lots of other people that they can talk to and be encouraged by. Strong relationships are the key to success!

Rejoice in flowers. Flowers remind us of beauty – look for beauty in your children – their unique gifts, interests and talents. Sometimes we are too quick to catch them doing something wrong. Nobody’s perfect – even great tomatoes have flaws. Keep your eyes open for the flowers.

Enjoy the fruits of your labour – Well, there are lots of ways to enjoy a vine ripened tomato from your backyard – my favourite is with just a little bit of salt. There are lots of ways to enjoy your children too! Play, read, laugh, snuggle, teach, paint, support, challenge, build, cook, care, share – spending time with your kids without any distractions is the best gift to give them.

Sometimes if feels like the tomatoes are growing so slowly and that they will never ripen, and then all of a sudden, they do. Enjoy all the little tomatoes in your life. They really do grow up so quickly.

Please add your comments below – how do you think kids are like tomatoes?